As a child, I idolized my mother and grandmother. They were the epitome of selflessness in my eyes, always putting others before themselves. I admired their ability to take on the world without ever complaining or asking for anything in return. Little did I know, this behavior would shape my own understanding of avoidance and self-sacrifice.
Looking back, I realize now that my mother and grandmother were not as happy and fulfilled as I believed them to be. They were constantly giving to others, neglecting their own needs in the process. It wasn’t until later in life that I discovered how unappreciated and taken advantage of they felt deep down.
I chose to model myself after these two incredible women, unknowingly inheriting their patterns of avoidance. I learned to put everyone else’s needs before my own, just as they had done for so many years. I became a master at ignoring my own desires and suppressing my emotions in order to keep up the facade of being everything to everyone.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I realized the toll this behavior was taking on my mental and emotional well-being. I had become so accustomed to avoiding my own needs that I had lost touch with who I truly was. I was living a life of self-denial, constantly seeking validation from others while neglecting myself in the process.
Breaking free from this cycle of avoidance was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I had to confront my deepest fears and insecurities, challenging the beliefs that had been ingrained in me since childhood. It was a painful process, but one that ultimately led me to a greater sense of self-awareness and authenticity.
Today, I strive to find a balance between giving to others and honoring my own needs. I have learned that true selflessness does not mean sacrificing my own well-being for the sake of others. It means taking care of myself first so that I can show up as the best version of myself for those around me.
My journey of breaking free from the patterns of avoidance and self-sacrifice has been a transformative one. It has taught me the importance of self-love and self-care, and the power of setting boundaries and prioritizing my own happiness. I am grateful for the lessons I learned from my mother and grandmother, but I am even more grateful for the strength and courage it took to break free from those patterns and create a life that is true to myself.
